Third Trimester/Birth Experience and Yes I ate my placenta

I had some requests to share how was the last moments during my pregnancy and my birth experience, so here we go...

*Third Trimester:

By the end of my third trimester I was really big and people were asking me if I was going to have twins sometimes lol. I had lower back pain, to sleep was not comfortable and car rides was bad as well. I would get tired standing for too long or sitting for too long. My practice was modified completely and I was playing more with some positions I liked than doing my traditional Ashtanga practice. I was meditating a lot, everyday and sometimes two or three times a day. I was chanting a lot too, having more an introspective and meditative type of practice. Overall I felt really good in my body and my mind. I also taught yoga classes to the day I gave birth. Somehow that kept me active and in a good mind/body condition.

*Planning Birth Experience:

In the beginning I had in my mind to give a birth at home, but I got discourage by my doctor saying that here in Poland is not like Netherlands that if an emergency happens the whole crew in the hospital would be already ready for me. So I decided to have the birth in the Hospital. I researched first and this hospital was good for natural birth. I wanted my birth to be completely natural. No epidural, no laughing gas, no injections with substances, no episiotomy ( the cut in the perineum ), delay in the umbilical cord and if is possible to take my placenta home. My doctor was also surprise that I didn't want C-section because most of the Brazilian women do. Doctor said the baby would be likely to born on November 28 or 29.

* Birth Experience:

On Tuesday, November 23 I had a long day... going up/down stairs..I live on the 5th floor with no elevator! So not easy with a almost 10 months belly. Then I went to teach a Mysore class at night about 20 minutes distance from my home. The walk was funny...I started feeling really heavy and I felt more pressure down in my pelvic area than usual. I managed to arrive for class...I remember moving really slow and my adjustments were more soft than usual to the students. After class I went back home... to go up on the stairs was hard. As soon i got home I felt the pressure increased and it was a feeling like I needed to evacuate. The pressure was irregular in time but getting stronger. I went for a bath and after called my mom. She said with her was the same and told me I was in labor so I dressed up and went to the hospital. Very soon the sensations became very regular like every 3 minutes. I was already tired...you know long day before. The intensity of the pressure and pain became more and more stronger. I took several showers, I used the bath tube and a pilates ball and I was squatting a lot. Mateusz was with me all the time giving me massages and helping me to walk because I didn't have strength to do it on my own.
I vomited with so much pain when I was between 5 or 7 cm dilated don't remember.... and the only thing that helped me was conscious breathing. After vomiting I went for the pool/bath tube at 2:35 am... It was nice and relaxing but I could not be there for more than 40 minutes otherwise the heat of the water could stress the baby. In the bath tube I had magical moments from extreme pain to moments of beauty and grace and I can not really define in one word the sensations. The breath was my guide and my priority . I got 9 cm open in the tube. The process of opening is also a mental work. I had to allow myself to do it, for that there is lots of surrendering and letting go. But at this stage there is no going back.
The nurse, such a sweet angel she took me to the bed because i was so tired-3:31am. I was 9 cm dilated. It was the hardest moment in my life as pain, insecurity and doubt and I thought i could not endure longer and I had no strength left to do it. Then so quick I had my full dilatation and the nurse brought a puff where I was half squatting and half reclined. 3:42 am After pushing twice the head was out (I let my body push instead me pushing). I relaxed completely and I was breathing really calm. She told me to touch his head and feel his hairy head. Then automatically my body started wanting to push the rest...She told me to hold so I would have no tears but my body didn't wait and it pushed him out 4:05 am. I had a very little tear on my perineum but I was happy that I didn't have any episiotomy.

*After birth:

Then he was in my arms...all that hair and the smell. It was not most beautiful and sweet smell I could ever ever imagine. I had a few stitches on my perineum and then I had to birth my placenta. My placenta was huge. The whole birth process was about 5 hours and 15 minutes which is not bad.
The nurse didn't cut the umbilical cord right way, she waited until the cord didn't have a pulse then she did. I started breastfeeding right away and then I felt I became a mother.

More blablabla:

There is no easy way to give birth. I was scared if something went wrong if I had to take an epidural or have a C-section.  I wanted a full natural birth and I did it. Lots of people tried to scare other women about their birth choices. Its important to stick with your dream and wishes and know you will have the strength to get through. Thousands have done that and I knew I could done the same. Other fact for me is that I like to feel life as it is. If there is pain I will embrace as I embrace joy. I love life with all the mysteries, pain, joy and excitement. I felt curious of how is the pain and joy to have a natural birth. I don't know if I have lived before other lives, if I ever will or if I just have this life to live so its better for me to live without regrets. I didn't want to erase or hide the pain and I have no regrets. There is some type of magic after giving birth with no medication. I don't know if is the hormones but I felt really powerful mentally, like i could endure anything after that.


*Archive:

Home shower during contractions

Mateusz with the crew. Mateusz was my doula too :P The lady in Pink was my sweet nurse angel.

Labor in the bath tube.

Right after birth. Surya is now literally with us :D

Drishti - Still the eyes, Still the mind

 We are told that "the eyes are the window of the soul". If that is true, how can make use of this fact to improve your practice?
 After the brain, your eyes are the most complex organ in the body, containing more than 200 million working parts. They are also the fastest muscle in your body, and can function at 100% at any given moment, without needing to rest. This 576-megapixel camera can distinguish over 10 million colors, and process information as quickly as your ethernet cable. In fact, is so important that only one-sixth of it is exposed to the environment, with the remainder encased in bones. 
But what does all of this has to do with the mind and meditation?

* The eyes and mind relationship:

The relationship between eyes and the brain starts in your first days of fetal life. Your eyes start to develop just two weeks after conception, with the retina and the optic nerve developing as a direct outgrowth of your brain. So the retina is actually a piece of the brain that has grown into the eye, and also share a similar structure.

On top of that, sight is so important that almost half of the brain is dedicated to vision and seeing.

Conventional medicine knows that mental health conditions translate into specific eye movement patterns. That is why people with good emotional intelligence are able to read your mental state through your eyes. Indeed, there has been much research literature suggesting that mental conditions involving attention (such as ADHD, dyslexia and anxiety) are accompanied by and increases inerratic eye movements.

The same is true regarding your breathing – it changes according to the emotion or mental state you are experiencing in every moment. There is a specific breathing pattern that sets in when we are angry, for example; and another when we are fearful, depressed, tired, happy, etc. 

The contribution of Eastern philosophy and the“consciousness experimentation” of the Yogis is that the opposite is also true: your eyes and breathing patterns also directly influence your mental and emotional state. This is really good news, because it is much easier to work on the level of the breathing and eyeballs, than it is on the level of the mind (which is so subtle and volatile).

*If you can still your eyes you can still your mind

The practice of yoga is all about training and concentrating the mind. In the Ashtanga Yoga method one tool out of the tristhana method is the Dristhi that helps to train the mind intensively. Dristhi in Sanskrit means point of focus. Each posture in the Ashtanga Yoga method has a point of focus or a gazing point that helps to concentrate de mind and direct energy along the inner body. There are total of nine drishtis (Nose, Navel, Toes, Upwards, Third eye, right side, left side, Hands, Thumbs) the idea is to still and focus the mind on those particular points and not getting distracted by the outside world.

* Theory vs practice

The gazing points with the asana practice is a work in progress because if you are not able to do the full extend it will be improper for you to be using the proper gaze point. Like for example a person that is more stiff in Trikonasana B may not be able to turn the neck and look up to the stretched hand. That does not mean the person don't have a gaze, but he or she will have to make up a new one. Another example is Marichasana A where the final gaze is on the big toe, but that is only applicable if the practitioner is is deeply fold into the pose, where the chest rests on the leg.

* Don't

What is not acceptable is for the eyes to be wondering around the room. The yoga practice is all about cultivating concentration.

* Drishti as a view point

Drishti is not only a gazing point. It also can be our view point or the way we look things. In a more abstract way is the idea of a view point we cultivate in the yoga practice. As we work with the breath and the body, we begin naturally to withdraw attention (Pratyahara) from the world around us.

As Pattabhi Jois said "everywhere you look you see God"

* In our lives

Each physical activity if you think about there is a point of focus. For a football player it will be the ball as a moving object. What about simple activities in our daily lives? How do we interact with loved ones? Do we give fully attention? Do we look in their eyes and make them feel they are the most important thing at the moment or do we stare our smart phone screen?

Yoga practice helps us to see how well we are looking, how well we are looking and paying attention and the quality of that attention.